Thursday, March 10, 2011



I have started a Monthly Giveaway. I will be drawing names from
followers that comment. The drawings will be on the 1st of each month!
The March Monthly Giveaway is this adorable Mouse Pin Keep

Each time you comment on a new post gives you another chance to win the Mouse Pin Keep

We all need a good laugh every now & then.

My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels.
She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’

I said, ‘Dust.’
And then the fight started…

My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.

She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds.’

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started…

When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive …

so, I took her to a gas station.

And then the fight started…

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verify my age..

I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, ‘That silver hair on
your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’

And then the fight started…

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, ‘Do you know her?’

‘Yes,’ I sighed, ‘She’s my old girlfriend.
I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn’t been sober since.’

My God!’ says my wife, ‘who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?’

And then the fight started…

I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

“I’ll have the strip steak, medium rare, please.”

He said, “Aren’t you worried about the mad cow?”"

Nah, she can order for herself.”

And then the fight started…

A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, ‘I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.

I really need you to pay me a compliment.’

The husband replies, ‘Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.’

And then the fight started…..

I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for $14.95.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the cold cream.

And then the fight started….

My wife asked me if a certain dress made her butt look big.

I told her not as much as the dress she wore yesterday

and then the fight started…..

Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage.

I hooked up the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour.

The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed.

I cuddled up to my wife’s back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, ‘The weather out there is terrible.’

My loving wife of 10 years replied, ‘Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?’

And then the fight started …

I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?”

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

“Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!” she said.

So I suggested, “How about the kitchen?”

And that’s when the fight started….

My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”

No,” she answered.

I then said, “Is that your final answer?”

She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.”

So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

And that’s when the fight started….

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first: the truck, the car, e-mail, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors.

I watched silently for a short time and then went into the House.. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

‘When you finish cutting the grass,’ I said, ’you might as well sweep the driveway.’

and then the fight started…


Rachel said...

Thanks for made me smile this morning!

BumbleBeeLane said...

Thanks for the giggles.Warm Blessings!~Amy

Brenda said...

Love those!! You brightened my day!!


Angela said...

Laughing so early in the morning....What a great way to start my day. Enjoyed the jokes, thanks for sharing.

Brenda said...

Thank you for starting my day off with a laugh! I cannot wait 'til my hubby comes home tonite. These laughs are priceless! :)

Sabrina @Falling Leaf Woodworkers and Primitives said...

oh my gosh, this post cracked me up... Thank you, I really needed to laugh.

Anonymous said...

really funny and cute.....tried to share some of it with my husband...and then the fight started..LOL

Wendy @ Ravenwood Whimzies said...

Too funny-Thanks for sharing. I love the little mouse pinkeep!

Karen~The Barely There Primitive Bear said...

I have seen these before, but it doesn't matter how many times you read them, they still make ya laugh!
Thanks for sharing!

Bear Hugs~Karen

Beckyjean said...

Love the post!! Wonderful way to start the day!


Unknown said...

Ha, Ha! Lots of chuckles from those!

Lil Raggedy Angie said...

Hello I am a new follower and new to blogging ! Thanks for the laugh , how great is that ! Your mouse pinkeep is great as is your blog. have a great week
lil raggedy angie

jennifer768 said...

Thanks so much for the chuckle ! Hugs,Jen

Linda ★ Parker's General said...

You made me smile.

Shelley said...

I can't stop laughing....some of these would really fit my life. lol

Sandi @ The Primitive Skate said...

Oh My! Thanks for sharing...You made my day!

Allenz said...

I got a good chuckle from your post. Thanks.

PrimAngel said...

So love you blog.. you keep so interesting.. and are so inspirational!! THanks.. and thanks for the chance to win the adorable mouser!
Nancy E

JeanM said...

LOL I really enojoed reading these angel2cook