Saturday, February 7, 2009

Be Careful Around Old People!

A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady.
She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the little old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourselves?".
"We can't chew them because we have no teeth", she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?"
The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate covering."
It pays to be careful around old people!

Employee --"Rich Hall computer assistance; May I help you?"
Customer--" Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect ."
Employee --"What sort of trouble?"
Customer --" Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
Employee -- "Went away?
Customer --" They disappeared."
Employee --"Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?
Customer--" Nothing."
Employee --"Nothing?"
Customer --" It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
Employee --"Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
Customer --" How do I tell?"
Employee --"Can you see the 'C:' prompt on the screen?"
Customer--" What is a sea prompt?"
Employee --"Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen? "
Customer--" There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
Employee --"Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
Customer --" What's a monitor?"
Employee --"It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.
Does it have little light that tells you when it's on?"
Customer --" I don't know."
Employee --"Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
Customer --" Yes, I think so."
Employee --"Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
Customer --" Yes, it is."
Employee --"When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
Customer--" No."
Employee --"Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable.”
Customer--" Okay, here it is."
Employee --"Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your computer. "
Customer--" I can't reach.”
Employee --"Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
Customer--" No."
Employee --"Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
Customer--" Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."
Employee --"Dark?"
Customer --" Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."
Employee --"Well, turn on the office light then."
Customer --" I can't."
Employee --" No? Why not?"
Customer --" Because there's a power failure."
Employee --"A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came in?"
Customer --" Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
Employee --"Good.. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
Customer--" Really? Is it that bad?"
Employee --"Yes, I'm afraid it is."
Customer --" Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
Employee --"Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer!

3 comments:

Trudy said...

That was a good one:)

lesley said...

Tee Hee! You do make me giggle. The worrying thing is I recognise this! I was jiggling my vacumn cleaner around wondering why it wasn't working and you've guessed it, not switched on at the plug. Oh dear am I passed help? xx

lovetheprimlook said...

Hey Sue, you won my contest for the 20 count strand of hand dipped lights. Your choice of color and scent. Please email me at akuether@yahoo.com with your choices !!!

Thank you for playing too !!

Angie