Ten Miles Down That Road Again! & The "Middle Wife!!"

I lost 5 pounds this week and reached my first goal....Gave myself a GOLD STAR in my journal...Have been faithfully tracking all I eat and haven't been eating any potatoes, bread, corn or peas & have been drinking plenty of water...I eat lots of good green & yellow vegetables...They fill you up and stay with you...Got up at 5am to take my son to the VA hospital for his colonoscopy!!!..My how they have changed since I had mine...Now they sedate them and he had to have a driver to take him home...I don't like driving in Minneapolis, so I was thrilled that he could drive after all....We stopped at a Goodwill store in Apple Valley and they had a lot of items, but I thought they were a little high on some of them...so passed them up....Wednesday is senior discount day, so will be going there on Wednesdays from now on....Will try and get some pictures of what I bought and post them by Thursday....The gal that was doing our weight posting isn't going to do it any more, so I decided to send the picture of my weight to my son Pat every week...He is also going down "That Road Again", so will be the perfect person to see me weigh every week....No cheating then on my part....I got into some pants that I haven't been able to in over a year and needless to say I was thrilled....My saying for the day is:

"Feed The Soul Not The Taste Buds"

The "Middle Wife"

You gotta love kids!
The 'Middle Wife' by an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself,
but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second grade
classroom a few years back.

When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions
with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually,
show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model
airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never,
ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it
in to school and talk about it, they're welcome.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid,
takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow
stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. 'This is Luke, my baby brother,
and I'm going to tell you about his birthday.'

'First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put
a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine
months through an umbrella cord.'

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to
laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her
in amazement.

'Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, Oh,
Oh, Oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans. 'She walked
around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!' (Now this kid is doing
a hysterical duck walk and groaning.)


'My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't
have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie
down in bed like this.' (Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.)

'And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case
he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like
psshhheew!' (This kid has her legs spread with her little hands miming
water20flowing away. It was too much!)

'Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe.
They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a
sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff that they
all said it was from Mom's play-center, (placenta) so there must be a
lot of toys inside there. When he got out, the middle wife spanked him
for crawling up in there.'


Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.
I'm sure I applauded the loudest... Ever since then, when it's
show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another 'Middle
Wife' comes along.

Now you have two choices...laugh and close this page or pass this along
to someone else to spread the laughs.. I know what I did!!!

Live every day as if it is your LAST chance to make someone happy