Sunday, January 11, 2009

SERENITY!


A friend just sent this to me and I was laughing so hard I almost pee'd my pants...That is what happens when you get old....I should know!!!

Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?' '98,' she replied.
'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?

Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
About being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'

The nice thing about being senile is
You can hide your own Easter eggs.

I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia .
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.

I feel like my body has gotten totally out of shape,
So I got my doctor's permission to
Join a fitness club and start exercising.
I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors.
I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But,
By the time I got my leotards on,
The class was over.

My memory's not as sharp as it used to be.
Also, my memory's not as sharp as it used to be.

Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.

It's scary when you start making the same noises
As your coffee maker.

These days about half the stuff
In my shopping cart says,
' For fast relief..'

THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.

Now, I think you're supposed to share this with 5 or 6, maybe 10 others. Oh heck, give it to a bunch of your friends if you can remember who they are!

Always Remember This:
You don't stop laughing because you grow old,
You grow old because you stop laughing!!

10 comments:

Kim Mailliard of Prim's by Kim said...

LOL Thanks Sue! Made my day =D Kim

basketsnprims said...

Loved those, Sue. Thanks for sharing.

Pam

Jacque said...

oh.my.gosh...I am laughing so hard! Gonna link to this from my blog...gotta share it! Thanks for sharing that.

WoolenSails said...

Thanks for the laugh, we all need a good one, now and then;)

Debbie

Kimberly said...

That was great! And thanks for your kind words over on my blog about your journey with weight loss... I'm so glad people are sharing! I think all support we can give and take will only benefit us all! Blessings, Kimberly

Karlene said...

I am still laughing and not only at the photo but wondering if I will be like that at a 100...LOL
Thanks for sharing...
Karlene

lovetheprimlook said...

Sue, that made my day !!!!

Angie

michele said...

I loved this!!

~Tonya said...

HI Sue,

I wish you much luck. I could take some lessons from you. Walk, water, measure. ;)

Loved what your friend sent you. That was a good one. We all need laughter...I tend to take life to serious at times.

Have a wonderful evening.
Hugs,
~Tonya

Debbies Doodle said...

hahahah... I love the laugh.. Thank you..
Deb