Friday, January 30, 2009

Twenty Three Lines To Make You Smile!

With this weather we all seem to be having I figured we could all use a little laugh!
1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences.
He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
3.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
4.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
5.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
6.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
7.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine.
8.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
9.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
10.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
11.. Being "over the hill" is much better than being under it!
12. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
13.. Procrastinate Now!
14.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
15.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance
16.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
17..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
18..He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
19..A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand
times the memory.
20..Ham and eggs¦A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a
21.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
22.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
23.. I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.
Appreciate every single thing you have, especially your friends! Life is too
short and friends are too few


Kimberly said...

What do you mean "there's no background music"... what have I been singing along to my whole life??

Catherine said...

Thank you so much! That is a great post. I needed a few laughs today.

basketsnprims said...

I loved it. Great post.


Deb's Country Crafts said...

Wow, that's GREAT Sue, funny! Can you believe it's gonna be in the 30's today! Wish it would last and melt some of this white stuff on the ground, lol. Take care!

Debbies Doodle said...

Cute.. love the monkey picture..
You make my day,

Jacque. said...

I had a good time reading those...managed to smile at least 23 times! Thanks!

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